If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
