Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
