either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my being single is dangerous.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
