Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
