I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
