Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
