She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
