Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
