I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He felt like a one man threesome
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
