North Korea, Best Korea!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
