Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
