She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
