I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
