Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
