I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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