Little spoons don't ask big questions
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
