ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
