It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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