Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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