some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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