I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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