White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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