It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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