taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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