My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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