He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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