That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
