So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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