It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
