yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
