my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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