i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
