Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have post one night stand depression
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize