There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
