I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
