I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
