How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We need a shit load of segways right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
