I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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