The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
