Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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