Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
