Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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