im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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