Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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