We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
