And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
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Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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