Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
