How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
