That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
