i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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