My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
