Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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