im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
