I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
