ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
