4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.