Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go