I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.