You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?