if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
