This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
