What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize