try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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