the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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