Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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