wanna go halves on a baby?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
