Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I have feelings that need drinking.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize